


Perfect Strangers

by theundeadsiren (rhoen)



Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Genre: Alive AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-27
Updated: 2015-04-27
Packaged: 2018-03-25 20:23:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3823561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhoen/pseuds/theundeadsiren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Having been dragged on a night out by his friends, Kieren just needs some space for a few minutes. He meets a guy outside the bar who needs some space from his whole life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Perfect Strangers

**Author's Note:**

> It's vaguely acceptable at the start, dubious towards the middle, and unacceptable by the end. Whatever.
> 
> Rick just needs something for himself.

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Thank you for respecting my wishes

* * *

 

The bar had a large balcony at the back of the building, and as Kieren pushed his way outside and into the smoke-tinged evening air, he was relieved to find it relatively quiet. The arterial road that lay two stories below was devoid of traffic, and the atmosphere out here was infinitely preferable to indoors, which had suddenly become stiflingly oppressive. The bar’s entrance, which, owing to the city’s topography, was on the same floor of the building, opened out at street level, but the street itself was the centre of the city’s nightlife, and would be far louder and more vibrant than Kieren wanted to deal with right now.

The spring evening was cool, almost chill, and other than a few people sitting in small groups at the benches and talking around cigarettes and the occasional swig of their drinks, the balcony was almost empty. The dull throb of the music was left behind, as was the warmth of the packed bar. Kieren didn’t care much for it.  His mood had shifted and, rather than finding comfort in crowded company, he’d needed a few minutes to himself. He’d go back soon.

Holding his half-finished drink in hand, Kieren walked to the furthest rail to look out at the silent street below, the amber light softening the hard lines of asphalt and metal. He took no notice of the man standing to his left or the staccato sound of conversation now behind him, instead studying the shadows and textures of the scene below. Somehow the quality seemed grainy, as a poorly-taken photo might. Definition was lost and muted in the streetlight, and the darkness of the shadows seemed to completely swallow the light. His eyes traced over the depth of it, wondering how it might translate to canvas.

Kieren gave a slight shiver, his body reacting to another breath of the cold breeze that stirred against his skin. It was, by no stretch of the imagination, warm, and the thin shirt and unzipped hoodie he wore didn’t do much to retain the flush from the crowded bar. He pushed the discomfort aside, taking a sip of his drink and listening to the glass chink against the railing as he lowered it again, eyes still fixed on a point below. Behind him, a handful of people were spilling out into the smoking area, their voices carrying with a wave of sound from inside, high heels clipping on the decking as they walked. A moment later, their chatter was just another part of the background, and Kieren forgot it. His focus was somewhat broken, though, and he glanced sideways, taking in the solitary man who had been leaning against the railing when Kieren got here. He was very attractive, and young – but nearly everyone in this place was – and his hair was lightly gelled. His clothes were casual but smart: a long-sleeved shirt unbuttoned over a Ben Sherman top, and well-tailored jeans. That wasn’t really what caught Kieren’s eye, though. It was the guy’s posture – he was leant forward as if weary and resigned, but there was a stiffness to him, as he was trying to retain his composure. His rigidity was broken only by the downtrodden expression Kieren could party see on his face, and the fingers that were playing restlessly with the delicate silver band around his left ring finger. Marriage troubles, Kieren supposed, even though the guy seemed young for it.

Kieren was simply regarding the guy unobtrusively, so when dark eyes turned and met his, Kieren didn’t flinch. Handsome features pinched slightly, as if in pain, and then the guy gave sigh and looked back out over the empty street again. The sound of a car grew louder over the backdrop of soft chatter, and it took just a few seconds for the hatchback to appear and then tear out of sight again. Kieren watched it detachedly, following the sound until it was lost. When he glanced in the guy’s direction, he was back to staring into nothingness, fingers never having stopped fidgeting with the ring.

“I wonder what would happen if I threw it away.”

Kieren did a double-take, surprised the guy had spoken. It took a few seconds to work out if he was supposed to reply, and in the time he spent trying to decide, the stranger spoke up again.

“I suppose I’d have to lie about how I lost it and buy a new one.”

 “You don’t like it?” Kieren asked carefully, eyeing the glint of silver that appeared between fingers and shadows. The guy had answered his own question, so Kieren wasn’t sure if he should have kept quiet or not. The brunet shook his head, though, focus shifting to his own hands.

“Do you ever wish you could get away from it all, drop everything and go, and never look back?”

Kieren was quiet, trying not to consider the tempting idea of it. Yes, he’d thought about it. All his life he’d wanted out; he’d wanted to escape. It took so much effort to be okay here, where he was, that he didn’t allow himself to think of walking away from it all, because he’d already come so far. One day he could leave, when the time was right. But not before, he always reminded himself.

The guy glanced towards him again, and Kieren found himself caught by the heartbroken expression on the young man’s face.

“I want out,” the guy said simply. His voice was strained with tension, and the look in his eyes was so completely and utterly desperate and lost that Kieren’s heart immediately went out to him. It didn’t matter that they were complete strangers, he understood that pain. In that moment he was probably the only person in the world this guy felt he had.

“There’s always a way to fix things,” he offered as kindly as he could. The world was tilting a little – this guy was leaning heavily on him, and Kieren had no idea how to help, even though he desperately wanted to.

The guy gave a humourless snort. “Is there?” He’d stopped twisting at the ring for a moment, but went back to it, his expression miserable. “The whole world is pressing in on me. It doesn’t matter how much space I seem to get, and it doesn’t matter how far away from everyone I am, I’m still suffocating. I can’t move, I can’t breathe, I can’t _think_. I hate it. I hate this fucking thing. It makes my skin itch, I want to tear it off. It makes everyone happy apart from me.”

“Your wedding ring?”

“My engagement ring.”

Kieren was silent for a moment, trying to digest the information. His tongue worked awkwardly in his mouth, shaping words he wasn’t sure would be well-received.

“Has it always made you unhappy?”

The guy sighed heavily, the words sounding weary and worn as he spoke them. “Yeah. I’ve never wanted to get married – not really. I’ve never…”

In the silence left between them, Kieren tried to give a small, reassuring smile, which felt like it was for his own benefit as much as the other guy’s.

“Well you’re not married yet.”

The guy regarded his ring again. “I guess not…”

The way he spoke made Kieren think that this guy viewed whatever relationship he was in to be fully binding already, before it was officially. Whatever it was that trapped him, Kieren wondered if this guy thought it would get better when he finally tied the knot. But it wasn’t his place to ask. Maybe the guy was trying to tell himself it would all be okay, that everything would work out, and he just had to get there. Kieren doubted it would be, though.

“She cheats, you know.”

The abrupt statement caught Kieren by surprise, and he just stared, not sure what to say. Thankfully, the guy didn’t seem to expect a response.

“They think I don’t know. I’ve always known. A few months ago I called her out on it and broke up with her, but everyone was so disappointed and she kept begging for forgiveness and for me to take her back, saying how sorry she was and how it would never happen again. My parents were so disappointed in _me_ , not her. They said I should forgive her, give her another chance. So I did. Lasted nearly two weeks before she was right back at it.”

Kieren wasn’t sure where to put himself. Behind them, he could hear the sound of the bar spilling out into the night as the door was opened again, but he couldn’t tell if people were coming out or going back in. All he was aware of was the cool night air around himself and this perfect stranger, who was opening up to Kieren with desperate honesty. He didn’t know what to say or do.

“I’m such an idiot,” the guy sounded ashamed of himself. “I took her back, I let myself pretend that everything was okay, that her interest in me and all the talk of the future was genuine, but in my heart I’ve known all along it’s nothing but convenient for her. I’m convenient. Stupid, easily played, forgiving…”

“You’re not stupid,” Kieren said gently.

“No? What then?” The guy sounded cynical.

“Do you love her?”

The guy huffed, looking out over the empty road below them as he hesitated with his answer. “No,” he said eventually. “I never have. I used to tell myself it would happen over time, but I somehow always knew it wouldn’t.”

“You’re not stupid,” Kieren repeated. Love made people stupid. It made them blindly hope for something that reason should tell them would never happen. To go back to and stay with someone like this guy’s fiancée was a stupid thing to do, but the guy himself wasn’t stupid – he was smart enough to know that things wouldn’t change, even if he wasn’t smart enough to see a way out yet. There was something keeping him there other than loving this woman, or telling himself he would one day.

Kieren realised he would have told the guy he wasn’t stupid, even if he’d admitted he loved this woman.

“Are you with her because you’re lonely?” he ventured. The way the guy stilled for a moment, eyes widening, make Kieren realise he’d hit the mark. The guy seemed genuinely stunned, as if he’d never thought about it before.

“I… maybe? I don’t know? I never really…” Well he was thinking about it now. His fingers had returned to the ring. Kieren shivered slightly in the cool air as he gave the guy a chance to continue. “Mostly, I think it’s because my parents want me to be with her. They want to see me do well and settle down with a family of my own.”

“And what do you want?”

Looking out across the empty street, the guy gave the simple answer without hesitation. “I want to run. I want to be myself.”

“Then you should.”

“I can’t. I’d hurt them.”

“But how will you feel if you go through with what they want you to do?”

The guy fell quiet again.  Kieren shifted, leaning against the railing and fully facing the guy as he watched the inner turmoil flickered across the stranger’s handsome features.

“Look,” he said gently, “either way it’s going to suck, but your parents will get over it eventually. If she cheats… what’s there for your fiancée to get over? She made her choice. If you get married you’ll never get those months or years – however long it lasts – of your life back. You might be lonely for a while if you break it off, but you can start to fill your life with people you want to be there, rather than people your parents approve of and who take advantage of and cheat on you. Maybe your parents will like whoever you meet in the future.”

That last part got him a humourless laugh, and the guy looked back to Kieren, eyes tracing over him.

“I very much doubt that.”

Kieren was confused by the certainty with which the guy said that, but didn’t have a chance to question it before a hand waved towards his drink.

“Sorry, can I finish that?”

“Uh, sure?” Almost reflexively, Kieren held out the drink. The request was so unusual he responded without thinking, and was still wondering at the change in conversation – and also in the guy’s mood – when the brunet pushed off the railing, downed what was left of Kieren’s drink and left the empty on the floor, and then dug out his phone. Kieren watched as it was unlocked and a number was selected. He could hear the muffled ringing as the call went unanswered. Seemingly unconcerned, the guy tried again, with the same result.  He then selected another contact and did the same. After the second try, someone answered.

“Hey babe,” he said, his tone was light and conversational. It was suddenly obvious who he was calling.

Kieren couldn’t quite make out what the woman was saying, but he could hear the lazy tone.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. What were you watching? Yeah? No, that was the second one. I know, the titles are so confusing, it makes you- hold on, you’re breaking up a bit. No, mine’s fine, must be your end. I’ll call you on the landline –”

The last words got a panicked response, which even Kieren could hear.

“But the chordless is right next to the sofa?” The guy frowned. “Lost? But if I ring it, you’ll be able to find it. Hold on, I’ll just call it.”

He was cut short again, and Kieren saw the guy slump in resignation.

“You’re not at home, are you?”

Kieren was starting to realise what he was watching play out, but he didn’t know how to move away or give the guy privacy while his relationship fell even further apart. His heart went out to him. The guy looked miserable.

“Yeah, fine. Whatever.” The guy’s voice had taken on a hard edge. “Look, I’m not doing this again. I’m done with it. I’m done with you. We’re finished. Stay at his tonight.”

The guy pulled the phone away and hung up, cutting off the pleading voice on the other end. Before Kieren could say anything, another contact was being selected. This time, the phone was answered just before it rung out.

“It’s me, mum. Yeah, I’m okay, it’s just…” The pause wasn’t for effect. Kieren could see the pained expression on the guy’s face, and hear the way his voice cracked. He was genuinely struggling with what he eventually said next. “She cheated again. She’s with him now. No, you don’t have to. Well, okay. Not tonight. Can I see you in the morning? Thanks. Love you mum. Night.”

And then it was over. Kieren was frozen where he stood against the railing, watching as the guy slid his phone back into his pocket and stared out over the street. His fingers automatically returned to the ring.

“Guess I can finally take this fucking thing off,” he said tightly, tugging at the silver band. After a few seconds, it slid free. Kieren thought the guy was going to fling it over the side, but after some consideration, he seemed to decide it was best to pocket it.

“I don’t feel better.”

Kieren managed to give a sympathetic smile. The guy had just ended a relationship with someone he’d been prepared to marry, after catching her out while she was with someone else. Kieren finally turned to look out over the street again. “You won’t, not right now.”

“Maybe after a few more drinks,” the guy shrugged healfheartedly. “Can I buy you one? Make up for the one I finished?”

“You really don’t have to,” Kieren insisted automatically.

“I want to. And to say thanks, as well. I feel like shit, but seriously – thank you.”

Kieren’s lips pulled into a tight line. “I kinda feel like an asshole.”

That got a small laugh that didn’t sound as humourless as the one that had come before it. “Don’t. You’re really not an asshole. I kinda like you. And I knew where she was. I knew what she was doing. I’ve pretty much always known, I’ve just never known how to do anything about it. My parents like her. Hopefully my mum likes her less now.”

“Even after the first time?”

The guy snorted. “My dad implied there was something wrong with me that made her cheat. It’s easier for them to think I’ve fucked up than anyone else has.”

Kieren frowned, not liking how that sounded. “Sorry, but your dad sucks.”

“He might have a point, though,” the guy shrugged.

“What do you mean?”

“Let me tell you after a drink, so I can at least pretend I’m drunk enough.”

“Drunk enough?” The second he questioned it, Kieren realised what the guy might be getting at, and struggled not to blush. “Oh, um, you don’t have to tell me about, uh, that,” he hurriedly insisted. The guy’s eyes widened as Kieren gestured vaguely towards his body.

“Oh the sex was fine, never had a problem with that,” he said quite unashamedly. “Well, excluding her infidelity… But it’s not like we’re bad in bed or anything. No, that wasn’t what I was…”

They were silent for a moment. The guy regarded Kieren closely. His gaze wasn’t unkind, but it was intense.

“Do you have a girlfriend?” he suddenly asked. Kieren looked down. No, he didn’t. Relationships weren’t really something that happened to him. He didn’t understand them, beyond a crush, because he’d never had the chance to develop anything more than that.

“That’s not really my thing,” he excused, realising as the words left his mouth that they were skewed towards answering a question he was sure the guy hadn’t asked.

“It’s not?” the guy echoed in surprise. “Are you…?”

“Queer, yeah, I fucking am,” Kieren bit back with far more bitterness than he’d intended. That was why relationships didn’t work for him – the people he fell for were always straight, and even if he was the right gender for them, he wasn’t masculine enough. There was always something about him that was lacking.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

The guy sounded genuinely sorry. Kieren didn’t reply. In his silence, the guy sighed heavily, both hands gripping at the rail as he leant forward a fraction, tense, as if the weight of the world was pressing down on him.

“Fuck it,” he muttered, pushing away to turn and face Kieren fully. It was the first time he’d stood like that, and Kieren immediately noticed the inviting power of his physique and his broad shoulders. The guy was handsome, with features Kieren longed to study, but his face was hardened by a determination that kept Kieren’s attention fixed on his eyes, which shifted with uncertainty despite how confident the guy seemed. Something in the back of Kieren’s mind offered up the thought that he should be afraid, but he couldn’t find anything about the guy that suggested he was about to come to any harm. Kieren trusted him. So he just waited.

“You know what I really hate about myself?”

Kieren couldn’t guess. Even if he could, he was too confused by the question to work out an answer. Why would the guy hate himself?

“Despite everything that’s happened, it’s not how I turned a blind eye to my fiancée cheating, or how I stupidly took her back, or how I let her use me, or how I let my family push me into a relationship I’ve never truly wanted. It’s none of those things. What I hate about myself is that I won’t take anything for myself without worrying about everyone else’s happiness first. I’m looking at one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever met, and I’m too afraid to do anything about it.”

The breath caught in Kieren’s throat, his eyes widening as the stranger’s gaze settled to look directly at him. The words were jarring. He couldn’t quite believe them.

“I don’t know how to…” the guy’s voice trailed off, and a hand slowly reached out, fingers wrapping gently around Kieren’s arm as the guy moved a little closer, his eyes never leaving Kieren’s. For someone who seemed so uncertain, the guy was doing something very, very right. The touch radiated warmth, the proximity stirring instinctive excitement in Kieren’s blood. This couldn’t be real. This couldn’t be happening. He could only stare at the handsome stranger who, just minutes ago, had been committed to a relationship but was now almost intimately close to Kieren, looking at him like he was the only thing in the world that mattered.

“I’ve had two pints,” the guy said in a low voice, “as well as the dregs of your drink. I’m not drunk. I’m just lonely, and I desperately want to know how it would feel to be in your arms, and to kiss you.”

Despite his own words, Kieren was leaning into the touch. “But you’ve only just met me.”

The guy’s hand shifted, tracing up Kieren’s arm and moving to cup his neck, deft fingers trembling slightly as they pressed gently against sensitive skin. Kieren could feel the way his own pulse was racing, his body reacting where his mind was struggling with the up-take. The guy was watching him with a look of adoration, but also sadness, as if he didn’t truly think he was allowed to touch and it would be denied any moment.

“I saw you when you came in with your friends. The whole time I’ve been out here, all I’ve been able to think about is what my fiancée is doing, and what I could be doing if I weren’t tied to her. I was wishing that I was the kind of person who would be brave enough to approach you and say something.”

“You’re saying something now,” Kieren breathed. He didn’t pull away. Instead, he became aware of the way he’d shifted slightly, subconsciously tilting his chin so his lips were angled towards the other guy’s, his body having gravitated a fraction closer.

“Yeah, I am,” the guy agreed absentmindedly, his attention more on Kieren than the words coming from his own mouth. “Is this okay?”

In answer, Kieren brought his hands up, one resting at the guy’s waist while the other brushed over his cheek. “Do you want this?” he asked. “Even though you just split up with your fiancée? This isn’t… rebound?”

“I want this. I want you. I’d want you regardless.”

Kieren’s hand pushed towards the guy’s hairline, feeling the texture of his gelled hair. He was sure this was wrong on more than one level, but the guy’s proximity and the warm breath he could feel against his own lips was intoxicating, chasing his thoughts away. His heart beat wildly in his chest and he glanced down at the guy’s lips, before he met his gaze again. The guy’s eyes were hazel, he realised, and so beautiful he wouldn’t care if he spent the rest of the night like this.

“Okay then,” he heard himself say in permission.

Even though he was okay with it, it took far longer than he’d expected for the distance to close. The moment was drawn out, and the intensity between them was almost unbearable. It broke for a few delicate moments when their lips finally met, before returning forcefully. Kieren could feel the rigidity in his own body, the hyperawareness of what he – what they – were doing. The guy’s arms were wrapping round him and holding him close as they kissed with tender desperation, the kiss barely deepening beyond parted lips as they both seemed to hold back. It took Kieren a moment to realise that the trembling he felt in his hand was the guy against him, not himself. Or it could have been both of them, he wasn’t sure. He was overthinking things, and felt a moment of panic as he realised the kiss was breaking. A hand was brushing gently over his cheek as the guy pulled away.

“Fuck, I should have done this…” the guy’s words trailed off as he kissed Kieren again fleetingly, “… ages ago,” he finished, his fingers in Kieren’s hair as he clearly tried to still himself for a moment. It didn’t work. With a choked noise of desperation, he moved forward, the momentum pushing Kieren back half a step as he was kissed again. This time they didn’t hold back, and Kieren parted willingly for the guy, letting the arm around his waist hold him close and turn them enough so he could feel the railing press against his back, the steady, warm body at his front. Kieren liked the way it felt. He liked the way this guy tasted, and the inviting scent of him as they pressed so close it seemed as if they were trying to become a part of each other. He liked how safe and wanted he felt in the guy’s arms, and he liked how his own fitted around him perfectly in return, fingers pressing against clothing and finding strands of hair long enough to brush through. He was new to this, and his first responses had been hesitant and unskilled, but as they kissed his confidence grew he relaxed into his own desire and pushed back, making demands with his own tongue that won him low moans as the guy yielded before taking back control a few moments later.

Kieren didn’t care how long they stood out here kissing; he could happily do this forever. They eventually pulled apart, though, and the guy brought his forehead to rest against Kieren’s with only the smallest of jarring bumps. The guy was breathing heavily, eyes closed as he seemed to be trying to regain his composure.

“I don’t even know your name,” he said, sounding as if he could barely believe what they’d just done. Kieren had to swallow before he was able to answer.

“It’s Kieren.”

“Mm, Kieren,” the guy said, smiling a little as he opened his eyes and looked at Kieren as best he could in the limited space between them. Their noses bumped as the guy shifted to kiss him lightly again. “I’m Rick.”

The name was spoken against his lips, making Kieren shiver and lean forward, increasing the pressure enough to call it a proper kiss. His mind was struggling to catch up with what they were doing.

“You didn’t…” even as he was asking the question, Kieren knew the answer, but he had to ask anyway. “You didn’t split up with her just to do this?”

Rick kissed him again before answering. “No. I was miserable. I’ve been miserable for a long time, but just pretending I was okay. You just helped me realise I didn’t have to work out a way to cope. This…” he kissed Kieren to emphasise what he was talking about, “is a bonus.”

“I helped you realise?”

Rick pulled back a little, but he didn’t let go. “When I said I wanted to run and be myself, you said ‘then you should’ as if it were the simplest thing in the world. It never occurred to me that it was.”

The words hadn’t seemed that important to Kieren when he said them, and he wouldn’t have been able to repeat them if Rick hadn’t said he’d spoken them. “Oh,” he managed, trying to find something worth saying. “Just because it’s simple doesn’t mean it’s easy to do.”

“Yeah,” Rick sighed in agreement. “Seems nothing ever is.”

“Some things are,” Kieren said absentmindedly. “And they’ll be worth it, in the end.” His hand had come to rest on Rick’s chest, and he could feel the racing heartbeat beneath his palm. “Your heart’s beating kinda fast,” he noticed.

“I’m scared.”

“Scared?” he echoed, confused by the admission and letting his gaze flicker from Rick’s chest to his eyes. Rick’s expression was unguarded, and he slowly brought his hand up to cup Kieren’s jaw. He felt the slightly rough skin of Rick’s thumb tracing over his cheek and gently parted lips, and was afraid that if he moved he might break the moment.

“I’ve never done this before.”

Kieren didn’t know if Rick was talking about kissing a guy, opening up to a stranger in a bar, dumping his fiancée over the phone, or doing something for himself rather than his family. He could guess which it was, though, given how Rick was leaning in again, using the fingers at Kieren’s jaw to tilt his chin just so. Kieren’s fingers gripped at the fabric of Rick’s shirt, his breath catching in his throat as Rick’s lips traced ever so lightly over sensitive skin that had a moment ago been brushed over by his thumb. It was simultaneously tentative and sensual, and left Kieren unable to think clearly at all. His grip on Rick’s top tightened even more as he shifted, inviting more definite touches which were gradually given, and he heard himself moan softly, cheeks flushing at his reaction. Rick didn’t seem to care in the slightest, and pulled Kieren closer, letting the tension build. It quickly became too much, and Kieren shivered in the strong arms wrapped around him, pushing aside the careful nature of the kiss and demanding more as he both tugged Rick to him and pushed against the guy’s solid frame. His hand was dragging through short hair, trying to find purchase as the kiss deepened again. Relief rippled through his body as he pressed fluidly against Rick. Kieren felt wanted. He could feel the uncertainty that still lingered in Rick’s body, and the tension that shivered through him as they kissed, but above all that he could feel the reciprocated desire, even if he couldn’t understand it.

He also couldn’t understand the breathless, flushed look on Rick’s face when they eventually pulled apart – it could almost mirror his own if it wasn’t for the surprise he could see in Rick’s expression, as if the guy was amazed to realise what he’d just been doing.

“What is it?”

“Nothings, I –” Rick paused for a moment, catching his breath. “It just feels really good.”

“Oh,” was all he found himself able to reply. He was still holding onto Rick, and wondered if they should pull apart. “Do you still want to get that drink?”

“In a minute,” Rick dismissed. He seemed more than content to tighten his hold on Kieren, so Kieren let him. A part of him wondered how they looked - two guys who’d been chatting side by side against the railing and had eventually ended up like this… One of his friends will undoubtedly have come to see if he was okay, and he wondered at which point had they’d seen him and Rick together. He didn’t mind, but perhaps there were people here who Rick knew, and who the guy would worry about seeing them.

“Are you okay?” Rick asked him gently, interrupting Kieren’s thoughts.

“Yeah, you?” he replied easily. Rick gave a short laugh.

“Not sure yet,” came the honest answer. Kieren gave a small smile, meeting Rick’s gaze and trying to give what comfort he could.

“You will be.”

Rick brought a hand up to brush at Kieren’s hair, but didn’t say anything for a minute as he watched his own fingers tracing through the blond strands. It felt nice.

“Is it bad that I want to spend the rest of the night out here with you?” Rick asked eventually.

“I don’t think so,” Kieren managed to reply. His throat tightened around the words. He wanted that too. Moving from here meant the night was closer to ending, and he suddenly wanted nothing more than to stay out here and preserve this moment for as long as he possibly could. He didn’t want it to slip away.

Rick was slowly pulling away, though, hands tracing down Kieren’s arms and finding his hands, lacing their fingers together as he looked down at the space between them. “You have really beautiful hands,” he said, giving a small smile. Kieren was surprised by the compliment – he supposed he had very slender features which were somewhat pleasing on the eye, but he didn’t expect anyone to really notice or bother commenting.

“Uh, thanks?”

They were silent for a few moments, in which Rick seemed to be warring with himself. Eventually, he spoke.

“Come on, let’s get that drink.”

“Just a drink?”

Rick understood the question, and hesitated again.

“Yeah,” he decided, “You should go back with your friends tonight. That was a five-year relationship, on and off, and might have some fallout. You shouldn’t be around that, as much as I’d love to… ya know… And as much as I wish I was right now, I’m really not the ‘pick people up in a bar’ kinda guy. I wish I was. I really wish I was.”

Rick gave Kieren a sad but honest smile that caused Kieren’s stomach flip-flopped as he noticed the dimples on Rick’s cheeks. He was quickly coming to love how honest this guy was in everything he did and said.

“But I’m the ‘take you out on a date, get to know you’ kinda guy, if you think you’d like that?” Rick offered.

“You were really unhappy with her?”

Kieren hated that he’d asked, and wanted to kick himself as he watched Rick’s expression fall.

“Yeah, I really was. For a long time, too. It was never… my heart was never in it, even from the start. It was just a high school fling. It wasn’t supposed to go anywhere.”

Kieren was quiet for a moment, aware of the fact they were still holding hands. He squeezed gently. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Rick shrugged. “I’m not. Well, I am, but… I’m not really? I don’t know. But thank you. For talking to me. For helping me.”

Kieren gave the tiniest of smiles. Guessing there would be more comfort in the action than harm, he leant in and gave Rick a kiss. “You’re welcome,” he said softly as he pulled back. The surprised look on Rick’s face was worth it. He saw a smile lift the corner of the guy’s lips.

“So, you still up that drink before either of us have to go?”

“Definitely,” Kieren nodded. “I liked the idea of a date too, if the offer’s still open?”

“Oh fuck,” Rick muttered in response, laughing dryly, “I get a date with a guy on the same evening I break up with my fiancée. My parents are going to fucking kill me.”

The words made Kieren a little uneasy, but he tried not to dwell on it and instead squeezing Rick’s hands reassuringly.

“Is it what you want?” he asked gently. Rick nodded.

“Yeah, it is.”

“Then do it.” Kieren said, trying to make it seem simple. He supposed it was, when it came down to it.

“I will,” Rick said, making it sound like a promise. He tugged Kieren closer by his hands, and kissed him again. Kieren happily let him.

“Are we ever going to get that drink?” he wondered aloud.

“Do we really need it?” Rick asked, letting go of Kieren’s hands and wrapping his arms around him instead.

“I guess not?”

“Me neither. Your friends won’t leave without you?”

“Nope.”

They both shared a knowing smile, before Rick pressed close again, walking them a few paces towards the corner of the balcony railings.

“Here good?” he asked as they stopped.

“Here’s perfect,” Kieren replied, already tilting his head and leaning in for a kiss he didn’t intend to break from for a very long time.


End file.
